Colic and reflux: getting through it as a dad
Hours of crying every evening, spit-up on every shirt, and nothing seems to help. Colic and reflux can wear down even the calmest dad. The good news: both are common, and both get better with time. Here's what to know and how to get through it.
Rough night? Call or text 988, or 1-833-852-6262 (24/7, dads too).
If you're at your limit right now
Put the baby down safely on their back in the crib or bassinet, with nothing else in it, and step away for a few minutes. A crying baby who is safe in their crib is okay. Never shake a baby. Even a few seconds can cause serious brain injury or death. More steps are in when the baby won't stop crying.
What colic is
Doctors often describe colic as a healthy baby crying for more than 3 hours a day, 3 or more days a week. It can start at 2 to 3 weeks old and usually lasts until 3 or 4 months. Nobody fully knows what causes it, and it isn't caused by anything you did.
What reflux is
Reflux is when milk comes back up after feeding. It's very common: most babies spit up every day in the first months, and most outgrow it by 12 to 14 months. A baby who spits up but is feeding well and gaining weight is usually fine. Your baby's doctor can tell you if it's something more.
When to call the doctor
Call your baby's doctor right away if you notice:
- A fever, especially in a baby under 3 months
- Crying that sounds different, or much more than usual
- Poor feeding, slow weight gain, or weight loss
- Trouble breathing or swallowing
- Forceful vomiting, or vomit that's green, yellow, bloody, or looks like coffee grounds
- Blood in the stool
- Signs of dehydration, like fewer wet diapers or being very sleepy
Sources: NIDDK, Acid Reflux in Infants; Nationwide Children's Hospital, Colic.
Things that may help
- Hold them upright for a while after feeds, and burp often.
- Smaller, more frequent feeds can help some babies. Ask the doctor before changing formula.
- Movement and sound: a walk in the carrier, gentle rocking, white noise.
- Always lay them on their back to sleep, even with reflux, on a firm, flat surface. Don't prop the crib or use wedges unless your doctor says so.
Getting yourself through it
- Take shifts. If someone else is home, split the evening so each of you gets a real break.
- Use earplugs or headphones on your break, so you can actually rest.
- Remember it's temporary. The weeks feel endless, but this does end.
- Talk to other dads. Plenty have walked the floor at 2am. Find them on our community board.
Weeks of crying can leave anyone drained. If you're feeling numb, on edge or low for more than two weeks, read worn down as a new dad.
Common questions
How long does colic last?
Colic often starts at 2 to 3 weeks old and usually eases by 3 or 4 months.
When do babies outgrow reflux?
Most babies outgrow reflux by 12 to 14 months. A baby who spits up but feeds well and gains weight is usually fine.
When should I call the doctor about my baby's crying or spit-up?
Call right away for fever, crying much more than usual, poor feeding or weight gain, trouble breathing, forceful or green, yellow or bloody vomit, blood in the stool, or signs of dehydration.
What should I do if I'm at my limit with a colicky baby?
Put the baby down safely on their back in the crib and step away for a few minutes. Never shake a baby. Call someone, or call or text 988.
Last updated October 2026. Postpartum Fathers is peer support, not medical advice.