Nervous About Taking Paternity Leave? Take It

Rough night? Call or text 988, or 1-833-852-6262 (24/7, dads too).

Our advice: take it in one full block

If you can, take your whole leave at once, right after the baby arrives. Here's why:

The first weeks are the hardest. Nights are longest, recovery is happening, and a newborn needs constant care. That's when an extra pair of hands matters most.
Bonding needs time in a row. Days strung together are where you learn your baby, and they learn you.
Splitting leave isn't always your call. Under federal law, taking bonding leave in pieces or as part-time days usually needs your employer to agree. One block is simpler to ask for.
You actually switch off. Bits of leave between workdays often turn into working from the couch.

If you don't have family nearby or anyone else to help at home, a full block matters even more, because you may be the only backup there is. If you do have strong help lined up for the first weeks, you might weigh saving some leave for when that help leaves. Either way, think about who will be covering the nights and the house, and plan your leave around the weeks with the least help.

Don't wait too long: the 12-month window

Under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), bonding leave has to be used within 12 months of your baby's birth. Save it for "next year" and you may lose it. Many employer leave policies use the same window, so check yours.

What the law covers

Who qualifies for FMLA: you've worked for your employer for at least 12 months, worked at least 1,250 hours in the past year, and your employer has 50 or more employees within 75 miles.
How much: up to 12 weeks for the birth and bonding. Dads have the same right as moms.
Your job and health insurance are protected while you're out.
It isn't automatically paid. FMLA leave can be unpaid, or used alongside paid leave your employer offers. Some states also have their own paid family leave programs.

Full details are in the U.S. Department of Labor's fact sheet on leave for birth and bonding. Your HR team can tell you what your job offers on top of that.

How to ask

Ask early. Give at least 30 days' notice when you can. It's easier for everyone to plan.
Put it in writing, with your planned start and end dates.
Bring a handoff plan. Who covers what while you're out. It shows you've thought about the team.
Keep it simple. "I'm taking my parental leave from these dates" is enough. You don't need to justify it.
Ask about pay: paid parental leave, vacation or sick time you can use, and any state program.

If you really can't take it all

If money or your job means a full block isn't possible, some leave is still far better than none. Ask whether you can take part of it now and the rest later within the 12 months, or work reduced hours for a while. Your employer has to agree to that, so ask early.

Going back

When it's time to return, read going back to work after the baby, or working from home with a newborn. If you're feeling worn down or low, read worn down as a new dad. Other dads get it too: PSI's free dads' groups meet online.

Common questions

Should dads take paternity leave all at once?

If you can, yes. The first weeks after birth are the hardest and when help matters most, and splitting bonding leave usually needs your employer's agreement.

How long do I have to use paternity leave?

Under the federal FMLA, bonding leave must be used within 12 months of the baby's birth. Many employer policies follow the same window.

Do dads qualify for FMLA leave?

Yes. Fathers have the same right as mothers. You qualify if you've worked for your employer at least 12 months and 1,250 hours, and it has 50 or more employees within 75 miles.

Is paternity leave paid?

FMLA leave can be unpaid. Some employers offer paid parental leave, you may be able to use vacation or sick time, and some states have paid family leave.

Nervous about taking paternity leave? Take it